A Lonesome Lockdown

On the 5th November, England was shunted into another national lockdown (yey!🙄) & this time it meant I was going at it alone up in my humble abode in Manchester. In all honesty, for someone who thrives in their own space & has a a short fuse for socialising.. it could be a heck of a lot worse.

I'm also finding this lockdown super contrasting to the last one back at the start of the Summer - there seems to be a far more chilled vibe accompanying this one & the general moral is pretty chirpy, considering thousands are without work right now. That's one of my top highlights for loving the North, the community spirit is NEVER dampened! 

Even strolling the streets with a steaming americano (+ a dollop of caramel syrup!) in hand, you can easily notice the vibe is far more chilled compared to the panic & caution last time. If anything, it feels like a bank holiday, noticeably calmer but still a slight hustle.

I felt physically sick at the idea of another lockdown, a feeling I'm sure I shared with most of the population - it's the unknown which is always the most terrifying factor. This time, having the responsibility of keeping myself alive & the bills ticking over was the daunting factor. When I was living at my Mum's these dreads didn't hit me quite as hard as I still had the incredible reassurance of a roof over my head, where as this time - it was solely my responsibility. 

For the first time too, I was actually concerned for my mental health. I'm pretty content in my own company & spend more than 80% of my free time on my own, so I was pretty confused at this overwhelming feeling at the thought of locking down by my tod. 

I also think it's the unknown that can sometimes be the most terrifying factor within a situation. The unknown feelings, emotions & scenarios that could unfold & then scramble that together with the overwhelmed waves.. BINGO! You've got an incredibly alien concoction.

There's no right or wrong way to how we should deal with these emotions at the moment nor how we should react. I think every person is so unique & digests both negative & positive energy differently & therefore, only you know your coping mechanisms. 

For me, it's definitely been distraction - I focus the majority of my free time content creating & expressing myself through my wonderfully eclectic wardrobe. My work uniform is all black so whenever I get the chance to rifle through my collection of clothes I feel a humungous sense of excitement at the endless combinations I can fling together.

Along with the rest of the nation, I dabbled in baking - not successfully I might add, but I gave it a whack. My first attempt at cookies was horrendous! I'm honestly ashamed to even give them the name 'cookies' because they certainly were FAR from that. But the second round? Not too shabby & they tasted divine!

I've also spruced up my living room corners, the cosy ones where I often find myself curled up with a mug of coffee & some YouTube binging. I wanted to make these corners even more inviting than usual seeing as I would be spending a heck of a lot more time nestled in them. It was also to allow the acceptance of a lazy day - the last lockdown I was very strict on myself not to have a 'chilled' day more than two days on the trot when in fact, I worshipped that down time. 

& finally, just like the previous lockdown, I made the most of getting outside for that treasured fresh air - this time though, I had a big old gorgeous city to play in. It's actually been super lush to explore the city whilst it's been semi-quiet. It can be pretty overwhelming & daunting to be exploring whilst in the heart of the hustle & bustle but in fact, when everything's gone into hibernation, it's the perfect time to grasp your bearings & find those hidden nooks.

.. I've also discovered I have an horrendous weakness to orange hot chocolates😪

Would LOVE to know what's been keeping you ticking by during this lockdown? 


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