Pre-Birthday Whirlwind

Don't get me wrong, my birthday is probably my most favourite celebration of the year- asides from Christmas. I'm a November baby so my birthday is all about cosy, sparkly, piping hot food & social celebrations! I'm also one of those extremely annoying people who hosts an official count down to their birthday, who constantly pipes up with 'it's my birthday soon' in-between any awkward silences. 

But I've noticed I seem to have pretty major mood swings within the countdown to my big event.

It's a real concoction of mixed emotions; obviously thrilled at throwing a celebration, a tad bit nervous on the age factor, eager at the new chapter ahead, skeptical on the expectations that accompany your shiny new age & a wee bit sad of the chapter you're leaving behind.

For me, the age factor has never been a real issue. As humans, we're all ageing & it's something that is impossible to combat. However, I think we fear the age label far more than we need to. I've always been one of the eldest out of my friendship group & therefore, always the first to hit the next milestone. The number itself doesn't scare me but comparing myself to others within my age bracket does. At the end of the day, it's a number that signifies how long you've been tottering about on the planet - not a category that you should fall into that has certain expectations. 

Hitting 27 doesn't mean I ought to have my sh*t together.

I'm also a serial reflector - always reflecting on my decisions, memories & the past in general. Therefore, whenever my birthday approaches I tend to sulk into a reflecting state where I look back at the year that has swung by. 

This year in particular has been a giant of a roller coaster for me. 

It started off beyond crappy crap & has taken a complete loop in a fabulous direction. I won't delve too much into the details as they're scattered in many previous blog posts (if you fancy a wee nosy!). For me, 26 has been a whirlwind - one of the worst & yet most fantastic years of my life, it's been an odd ball.

 *Side note; I just almost burnt the apartment down by boiling an egg for over 2 hours. Told you I don't have my sh*t together.

But I will always find myself thinking back on the details of the year & more importantly, what I have achieved within that time. I know those little ditsy quotes that pop up on social media always advise looking 'forward' but for me, I find looking back isn't necessarily a bad thing.

As we seem to always look at birthdays as a milestone, I think it's important to note the accomplishments in between. I'm not talking about mortgages, weddings & how many children we've popped out before the age of 30 - I mean the smaller details. Perhaps not always the ones we focus on but maybe ought too.

Something you're super proud of that made you feel ridiculously good, such as; working on your physical/mental health, perhaps encouraging yourself to tackle a hobby you've never quite found the confidence for, slapping yourself out of bed for that early morning gym routine, nailing a new recipe, creating brand spanking new relationships, travelling adventures that were always a glimmer in the back of a glossy brochure or passing an exam/test that seemed merely impossible at first.

There are tons of details that seem so minor when squeezed into a single year, but are actually some of the greatest accomplishments.  

Approaching a new age is for me a new chapter - I'm closing one part of my life & opening another one, it's truly exciting yet terrifying. 

Change has never been my best friend.

I actually remember on the eve of my 10th birthday, sitting on the top of the stairs & whimpering over the thought of being in double figures. I wasn't fretting about getting older, or approaching the secondary school leap or knowing that I was about to begin developing into fully fledged woman.. nope, it was simply the change of having a double figured age.

It was the fact that I was closing the first decade of my childhood & embracing a whole new one, dedicated to the teenage years I've heard so many mixed reviews about.

Told you change & I have never been close.

No matter how many times it's drilled into my brain that change is a good thing, I'll never buy it. For me it's something I will never be comfortable with & all I can blame it on is a concoction of paranoia & being a Sagittarius. 

Unfortunately, change is something I will have to suck up because it will keep rearing its confusing head whenever it fancies.

I've also got this weird obsession with being an 'even' number. I'm not keen on being one of the odds & I've almost planted the seed in my head of 'if you're an even number age, it's going to be a fab year, honey'.  Therefore, whenever I have an 'odd' birthday coming up, I'm a little skeptical of what's about to roll my way.

Has this 'seed' ever been correct? Urm nope.

Have I always had a negative year on an 'odd' number? Ye'.. nope.

Have those 'even' numbers always been fun? Nope.

So there you go, that theory is a total load of bollocks & it's one that my anally retentive brain has concocted just for a laugh. However, I will still always smugly enjoy an even number as my title age..

Knowing how much I've learnt from the previous year has certainly helped shape me emotionally & also physically. I'm a different person that I was before turning 26 & now that I am turning 27 I have new passions, insights & goals that I've set myself. I've also gained new relationships, knowledge & skills that I'm eager to test out - I made a banana loaf for crying out loud.. A BANANA LOAF.

I've also decided that 27 is the year that I focus on myself - I'm taking a dose of self care & adopting a tad bit of selfishness to work on myself. 

So, lets roll on Friday 29th November..

& crikeeeey, anyone who has been swept up in the idea that anything over the age of 25 is considered 'old' - please wipe this assumption immediately.




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